I took my boys to the local chain bookstore last Saturday morning. It’s turning out to be a bit of a ritual for us. I couldn’t help but notice that it looks as though it is becoming a Saturday morning ritual for more and more fathers. How cool it was for me to look around and see nothing but dad’s with their kids. Dad’s of all shapes, sizes and ethnic backgrounds sitting and reading books to their kids. Dad’s roaming the isles with there kids trying to find the title of book that will jump out.

A change is happening! I am happy to say that I am a part of the evolution of men taking the time to spend time with their kids. I call these moments heroic because our kids will be the better for the time we spend with them and they will cherish every moment.

I would love to hear your thoughts on what you see when you are out.

Cheers,

Gabriel

I just got home from an evening with my wife and two boys. We are trying to be consistent with one weekend night being what we call “family” night. I must say that it is always a time of fun and expectation. I see my ten-year-old son looking forward to this night each and every week. We make sure that he is a part of the decision making process which he seems to enjoy. I can truly say that when I venture out into evenings like this it does something to me…in a positive way. I seem to love my wife more and my kids more. I mean…I love them already but we all know that marriage and parenting is tough at times. It’s just seeing my wife across the bookstore browsing and then my two-year-old running around in circles and then my ten-year-old loving the new paper airplane book he just found. Family Night brings us all closer together and it also ties our hearts together as a family. Plus, not having any melt downs by the baby was a positive.

I think being that we are a “blended” family makes it even more important for all of us to have a level of connection where we all enjoy being together. So, here I am a bit exhausted from the long week and the long day today but I have a sweetness in my heart knowing that my family is together and we all love each other. It’s been a good day! A good day!

Cheers,

Gabriel

I was having lunch with a friend today and we began chatting about our children. He has a baby boy just about to turn one and I have an almost two-year-old now as well as a ten-year old. We began to chat about the personalities of our sons. I listened intently as John talked about his boy and his personality. It’s a beautiful thing to see a man talk passionately about his son. The love that John has for his baby boy evident for I wouldn’t be able to wipe the smile off of his face if I tried. I wouldn’t dare anyway because it was a beautiful thing to witness. A father’s love for his child! Awesome!

Than I began to share about my two-year old. I told John stories of how Ezrah is quite the daredevil. He takes a lot of risks like climbing up the railing that separates the kitchen from the living room. The kitchen is a level above the living room so he is making quite the climb. He loves going to the very top and just hangs there. When my wife or I see him we are immediately running over to his rescue but he would like nothing more than for us to just go away. Ezrah would also climb to the top of the bunk bed, via the ladder, when we had it set up. The kid just loves to climb. He also like to just jump off of the couch onto the floor holding a pillow to his face to protect his fall. I mean, he really goes for it.

I began to compare with John how my older son Julian didn’t seem to be as daring to me. We began to compare notes and the different situations that each boy has experienced growing up. I was a single father with Julian. We had loads of fun together and had the time of our lives but I just don’t remember him doing some of the stuff that Ezrah does. We concluded, whether we are right or wrong, that Ezrah is being raised with a mother and a father in the household so that creates a certain level of certainty and security. Maybe it is because of that foundational security that allows Ezrah or gives him the freedoms to risk more and do the stunt man stuff.

Whereas Julian had a bit of a different situation so the risk factor wasn’t as tangible or attractive to him. He loved the safety of just being with me…his father! I mean, I love that! I love the sweet relationship that he and I have today so I can see a bit of a difference.

This conversation led me to self-examine myself and my life and it turns out that I wasn’t much of a “risk” taker as well. I grew up with my mother and father absent for the most part. I take more calculated risk than just jumping out and going for it. I love the comfort of my home and would be satisfied to just stay home and curl up on the couch with the remote. A great example of that is on New Years Eve my wife went out with her girlfriends and I was home all alone. Don’t feel bad for me because I loved it. I had a couple of friends pop by but for the most part the silence and aloneness were a gift.

So, that is the tale of my two boys. What about your kids. What are some of the differences that you notice. I would love to hear about it.

Peace,

Gabriel

There’s a cool local coffee hang that I am now becoming a regular on Saturday mornings “only” because of the Thomas the Train set for my 19-month old to occupy himself with while I can sip on my vanilla cappuccino. While he does his thing my 10-year old is on the Mac doing his thing due to the wireless network that is available. Wow, my life with my boys is getting easier on Saturday mornings. Love it!

I must say that the landscape in the “Thomas the Train” area is changing quite a bit. The wall is lined, not only with screaming kids diving for the neglected Thomas the Train on the floor, but with Dads! Maybe one or two moms are in the mix but the majority of us there are Dads! How cool is that? I like to say that it is “hip” to be a Dad and a slight shift in culture is showing. You don’t believe me? Find the local coffee hang with a Thomas the Train set and you will see what I mean.

Gabriel

It’s been one of those months where the weight of the world seems to be on my shoulders. Do you know what I mean? I am sure that many of you feel that way at some point in time or another. I can’t seem to shake this one though…seems to be lasting longer than the norm. I don’t know…not sure what the deal is.

So, woke up this morning and in the mad rush to get my ten year old to school on time. Shouting out orders…making breakfast…picture day…brush your teeth…let’s go…we’re running late. Still feeling very heavy and a bit depressed if I may boldly say. So, we are rushing off and my son cranks up Sting’s “Message in a bottle” that he downloaded on the IPOD. He knows every word of the song and starts belting it out. Huge smile on his face…singing away…and lovin life.

It only took that moment to look over at him and the worries of the world seemed to lift off of my shoulders for that short drive to his school. Oh, how I love him! Thank you son for being you and having the courage and the freedom to live life this morning. You made my day!

Dad!

I was catching an episode of Dr. 90210 this past Sunday. OK, I admit at times I am a reality t.v. junkie. What can I say?

The essence of the show was Dr. Rey going back to Brazil to confront his father for the horrible way he was treated by his dad as a kid. He openly admitted how his father, to this day, had control over him even though he did not have relationship with him. All Dr. Rey wanted to hear was that his father loved him and was proud of him.

Here is a very, very successful plastic surgeon in Beverly Hills…a thriving practice…a beautiful wife…two lovely kids…and what he longed for was to know that his dad loved him! He longed to hear that his dad was proud of him.

So, he goes to Brazil…he see’s his frail father…they embrace and the father begins to week and starts apologizing to his son for the way he fathered him. He was weeping crying out “reconciliation is the greatest thing between a father and a son…”

I have to say that I was moved. I have to say that it was a wonderful piece to watch. A father and a son reconciling. A son hearing from his father that he loved him and was proud of him.

Hey guys…take a moment to say to your children that you love them and that you are proud of them. And, maybe some of us need to reach out to our fathers and seek reconciliation.

Would love to hear your thoughts.

Sweet dreams…a cool breeze…soft touches, wildly interrupted by the high-pitched screams of my 18 month old lasting close to 40 minutes. The hope is that after ten minutes he would “get it” that his parents need to sleep. But no, the shrieks continue and get louder and louder. So, here I am…blogging at friggen 1 in the morning. Welcome to Fatherhood the 2nd time around. For some reason it doesn’t seem that this happened the 1st time around. Maybe the 10 year span has helped me forget.

Well, here’s to another night on the couch…computer in my lap and infomercials. When will this kid sleep through the night???

Last week I went to Disneyland with my wife, two sons and my wifes friends, and their child, who were visiting from Argentina. I am always reluctant to go to the theme parks mostly because I don’t like all of the waiting, walking around and the plain ole hassle that it can be.

But, I must say that I loved being with my family and had a really, really fun time. The best part was seeing the joy on my families face that I was there with them.

My son and I had just come off of exhilirating ride on the Matahorn. We were chatting it up on how “awesome” it was. I think my son must of said the word “awesome” ten times. It was great.

As we walked off I saw a father “dragging” his son out of the line. The father was filled with anger and chiding his son in front of the whole crowd. Tears were streaming down the boys face. It was pretty obvious to me that at the last minute the boy got scared and didn’t want to go on the ride. And, his “macho” father let him have it. It was painful to see this go down.

I am not hear to judge this man but men, let’s take in Alexine’s article and take a moment before we act out of emotion and anger. Our kids will be better for and so shall we.

I would love to hear your thoughts.

Gabriel

I still don’t know what to expect when I have a kid, and I ‘ve had one for 6 months now. As a man, making progress is important and just when I think something is figured out, it changes — HE changes. Well, it sure keeps me on my toes and reminds me that this little guy is a real person, not some sort of sophisticated doll or something.

Isaac is his name. Isaac Jonathan. I thought I was working hard before he was born… Boy I look forward to seeing him when I get home and when he is lying in his crib in the morning, just waiting for his first hug. This boy can change in an instant so I’ve learned a new lesson in enjoying the now, not what now should, could, or might be but what it is.

As this video so clearly shows, sometimes the moment arrives and you almost don’t realize how amazingly special it is until it’s over. Thank God for inexpensive digital cameras and a quick thinking mom! I hope I can grow to appreciate the moment as it is more often and not miss the pleasant surprises that often trail the hard work. Much love to my boy and his irreplaceable mommy. A hat tip to the dads out there.

– Jon C., San Gabriel, CA

I have begun to build a relationship with my neighbor who is a contractor and just a good guy. We have been hanging out a bit as of late swapping “Daddy” stories. At 46, he has just become a father for the first time. His son is only six months old. It is so amazing the change that a child can make in a father’s heart and life. My friend began to share with me that he was watching a movie on t.v…. He had his son right next to him as he was watching the movie. A part of the movie came up where it dealt with a father fighting to spend time with his child. My friend was so moved during this scene that he literally began to shed some tears. He was looking at his son and telling him that he would never leave him and that he would always be there for him.Here we were…two grown men revealing ourselves to each other and sharing the impact that our children have had in our lives. It was wonderful! I am so thankful that my new friend and neighbor had the courage to go deep with me. I am a better man for it!