Juan Duenas - Dad of the Month!

Juan is the father of two wonderful kids, Emily & Justus. I want to thank Juan for taking the time to share his heart of what fathering means to him! I was thinking how it’s not always easy for guys to sit down and be transparent about their feelings or how our kids make us feel. So, kudos to you Juan! Thanks for being a part of the American Daddy team!

Fatherhood

When my daughter, Emily, was born nine years ago, my world changed. Work took on a greater importance – no more risky career moves. Every corner or low hanging shelf was viewed as something that would impale her. I remember driving home from the hospital very slowly (too slowly) in order to get the “precious package” home safely from the hospital that was less than a mile from our house. Nothing could prepare me for the overwhelming connection that a father could feel for his daughter – she is an angel sent from above.

When my wife was pregnant with our second child, I remember hoping for a boy. The day we found out that we were, indeed, going to have a boy, my initial reaction was positive but it was immediately followed by a little sadness – I had gotten very comfortable with having a daughter and wasn’t sure how I would adjust. When Justus was born five years ago, my sadness was proven unfounded.

Juan, Emily & Justus

Justus has a very inquisitive mind and I love fostering that in him. When we’re on walks together or in the car, he will incessantly ask questions about what he sees around him. “Daddy, why is the grass green at this house but brown at that house?” “Daddy, can we walk on clouds?” “Why not?” “Daddy, how come you don’t have a ‘Monster Truck’?” – this is all in one session with one non sequitur after another. I try to patiently answer every question. My favorite questions are ones where he’ll ask about something that happened in the past and it will blow my mind that he remembers the event. The best part is when I ask him questions – the answers he comes up with are amazing!! He’ll never say he doesn’t know – he’ll answer with the conviction and confidence of an elder scholar – I hope he never loses that inquisitiveness and confidence.

Emily’s an incredible artist, soccer player, student, and person – we often stay up late telling made-up stories, talking about school, life, and the world at large. My main goal in these late night discussions is to get her to laugh because her laughter is infectious. Sometimes, however, we talk about serious topics such as the stresses and challenges of being a nine year old in today’s crazy world. It is here where our bond is continually strengthened as she opens up to me about her daily life – I hope she never stops.

Me?…I want to show my son how to be a good man…how to treat and respect a woman. For my daughter…I want her to see how a woman deserves to be treated and respected. The only way I know how to do that is by being a good man who loves and respects his wife – I hope they learn.

I don’t remember how I came across this husbands “Bill of Rights” but found it to be extremely funny. It will give you a laugh so enjoy!

The Husband’s Bill of Rights
By Craig Playstead

Preamble:

We, the husbands of America, do not claim to be perfect. We’re far from it. While we love being married to the wives of America, we have a few things that we’d like to straighten out. We’re not asking for the world here. We understand that things like following our college football team to every away game is out of the question, as are after-dinner cigars. However; there are a few minor things that we’d like to clear up to make our marriage a happy one.

Amendment I

We have the right to go out with our friends at least once a month.
A man’s relationship with his buddies is a bond that should never be broken. It helps keep us feeling young, connected and sane. It also helps us break the routine just like nights with the girls do for you. Even as we reach middle age, we like the fact that we still have a “crew.”

Amendment II

We reserve the right to dislike your friend’s husbands.
We promise to give the guy a fair shot, but when he starts acting like a moron, we can no longer authorize events with that family. And yes, wives have the same freedom to blackball when the tables are turned. It doesn’t mean we like your friend any less, it just means that in her haste to have a big, fancy wedding, she chose a jackass that we don’t want to spend our rare time off with. Listening to stories about how “wicked” he was on the French horn in his bitchin’ ‘80s band is just too much.

Amendment III

We have the right to have a few things of ours in the house.
Everything we hold near and dear to us shouldn’t all be in the garage. While we understand that our framed KISS concert poster might not make it on the living room wall, at least throw us a bone. The scene in “Juno” where Jason Bateman realized that everything he held near and dear was in a 200-square-foot room was a gut-shot to us all.

Amendment IV

We have the right not to be scolded by you.
We are your husbands, not your children. We don’t mean to track dirt onto the carpet or get chips on the couch, but it’s not like we just got a lap dance. Don’t treat us like your children and we’ll do our best not to act like them.

Amendment V

We have the right to teach our sons how to burp and fart.
Sharing bodily functions with our offspring is as much about life as it is about jokes. It’s also something that can help brings kids and dads together. Believe me, kids and guys always laugh at farts—that’s how we’re wired. And we’re not talking about being totally gross and inappropriate. We vow to teach them that there is a time and a place for behavior like this—and that the early service at Church is not one of them.

Amendment VI

We have the right to teach our children how to defend themselves.
Fighting is barbaric, terrible, and scary. But it’s also part of growing up. We want our kids to be able to get out of a bad situation, not be bullied, and be able to take care of themselves. One of the plus sides of learning how to take care of yourself is that the more you know, the less you have to use it. Teaching our offspring how to defend themselves in a scary world is one of the basic duties of a father.

Amendment VII

We have the right to as much reading material in the bathroom as we need.
Sometimes we’re in there a while, we can’t help it. And no, we’re not hiding … most of the time.

Amendment VIII

We have the right to watch the big game.
We care too much about our teams. We know it’s not rational, but it’s who we are. No one can explain the love men have for their teams, but you may as well embrace it because that love will not die. If you don’t believe this, just remember the Boston Red Sox had the most loyal fans in sports and didn’t win a World Series for 86 years.

Amendment IX

We have the right to the remote when we’re on the couch.
This is something that’s in our DNA. We know it, and you know it. If there’s any doubt, watch us surf at top speed while knowing if a show is worth watching after stopping on it for .2 seconds. It’s a thing of beauty.

Amendment X

We have the right to still use chivalry.
Yes … we know women are strong and independent, and we dig that. But allow us to open the door for you, or give up a seat and act like a gentleman once in a while. The world will be a better place because of it.